The key to success?

By Dr Tareq Rasheed,

International Consultant and Trainer

Healthy relationships are pillars for personal and professional success and development. Yet, relationships are built and you are the engineer. Have you mastered the necessary tools and techniques?

A relationship is a connection between two or more parties for mutual benefits that satisfy the needs of each party. The parties could be persons, companies or even countries. Here are the four keys to a successful relationship:

1.Mutual agreement to begin the relationship, except of course in parental relationships. Children do not choose their parents but mothers and fathers agreed to start a relationship as husbands and wives 

2.Each party has responsibilities and obligations to satisfy and achieve if the relationship is to continue positively 

3.A verbal or written contract that connects the parties 

4.Time limit — every relationship has an end, whether resignation or firing, retirement or death. Nothing lasts forever, except our relationship with God

There may be advantages to being alone, like managing your time, space, priorities, health, opinions, values, actions and habits. But no one can live by themselves, even with all the money, tools, techniques and resources.

Basics to a healthy relationship

1.Being giving in the relationship. Taking without giving leads to trouble. Love, care and cooperation are central to a healthy, thriving relationship

2.Understanding the needs of the parties in the relationship and trying our best to satisfy the needs of the other party while taking care of ourselves

3.Allowing space and time for each party to feel free in making choices and setting priorities

4.Having a win/win mindset for the relationship to be positive, even when facing problems in the relationship

Human growth pyramid

Relationships follow a growth curve from dependency and independency, reaching interdependency: 

•Dependency: when we were children, we were dependent on our parents and the concept of “you” dominates the relationship

•Independency: when we get older, as teenagers, we need to feel independence, which is a logical period of growth. Here the concept of “I” becomes dominant

• Interdependency: this requires a high level of maturity and here the idea of “we” is the prevailing mentality

Conflict resolution

Can we be in a relationship without facing troubles, problems or disagreement? It is rare to have a relationship without conflict unless we are angels, not humans! 

Types of conflict resolution: 

1.Amicable settlement: the parties discuss openly together without any outside or external interference. This is the best and most preferable method since it keeps relationships positive and safeguards all secrets in the relationship 

2.Negotiation: this is a formal method of resolving a conflict between parties that can also keep the relationship positive 

3.Arbitration: in this very formal method, each party in the conflict assigns other parties from their side to resolve the dispute. This is preferable between organisations and countries

4.Court: by the time a relationship gets to this point in conflict resolution, it means: 

•The relationship ends and fails to continue

•More time is needed for resolution

•It’s more expensive

•No secrets are kept

Tips for healthy relationships

1.Freedom to choose is key, whether it’s the freedom to choose one’s field of study or career or freedom to choose one’s partner

2.Giving is the main ingredient in a relationship, but remember it must be mutual

3.Love enriches any relationship; remember that love is a verb — give and show love in action for the relationship to grow

4.Mutual support means the relationship enables you to achieve more than you ever could on your own

Reprinted with permission from Family Flavours magazine