‘Jordan is my family’

The Essential Guide to Jordan and the Middle East: Conversations from a Cross-Cultural Perspective

Usama Shair and Petra Shair

Amman, 2014

Pp. 110

This book is literally a cross-cultural endeavour as intimated by the title. Usama and Petra Shair, a husband and wife team — he born in Jordan and she in Germany — combine their two individual perspectives to fill a gap in the prevailing guide book genre. “The Essential Guide” doesn’t tell the reader what sights to see — there are plenty of books for that already. Instead, it provides an introduction to local society and customs, a guidebook to people, focusing on socio-cultural attitudes and practices, rather than relics. 

Writing in alternate passages, Usama from the perspective of “insider” and Petra from the viewpoint of “outsider” (though she’s lived in Jordan for decades), the Shairs pack a lot of information into a small volume. There are also occasional dashes of humour, mostly provided by Petra who appears to relish playfully, but patiently, countering misconceptions about Arabs as reflected in questions she has been asked over her 35 years of marriage to Usama. The first part of the book is based on these questions. Petra has her own set of questions that lead to logical answers to queries such as: “Did you convert to Islam?” This question is ironic since Usama is Christian, but Petra discovered how many people in the West don’t know there are Arab Christians, or that God and Allah are one and the same.

Actually, the issues raised are quite serious, as is driven home when Petra writes: “Throughout my married life, I have been asked many questions about being the wife of an Arab and living in the Middle East, and the nature of these questions has not changed in all of this time. When I first got married, I was asked whether my husband rides a camel, and if we were going to live in a tent. More recently, after a four-year stint living in Dubai, I have been asked if we live in a palace and drive a Rolls Royce.” (p. 7) 

Augmenting Petra’s account of her own experience in Jordan and Germany, Usama provides further background explanations. He takes on the greater role in narrating the three ensuing parts of the book covering Jordanian culture and traditions, religions and a very brief summary of Middle East history starting from just before World War I. While vividly describing the consequences of the post-war division of the area, the text, surprisingly, does not mention the division and ensuing occupation of Palestine, although this is certainly the most abrupt and damaging of all the divisions.

Hospitality and the significance of coffee lead off in the section on Jordanian traditions which explains the customs surrounding marriage, condolences, meals and social life. Throughout the importance of family is apparent. Religion is covered in great detail, presumably because of its centrality to people’s lives, but also because it is what is most misunderstood in the West. While sketching the history, practices and legal issues pertaining to Islam and Christianity respectively, Usama notes the many commonalities between Jordan’s two religions. Only one point is contestable: The book states that government and non-Christian schools are not permitted to teach Christianity to Christian students, but this is no longer the case. 

Usama and Petra Shair serve as genuine goodwill ambassadors for Jordan and the Arab world overall. They present Jordan as a more complex society than is usually assumed, and emphasise the coexistence and good neighbourliness that prevails among the different religious, ethnic and cultural groupings that make up its population. Another strong point is that they go beyond the parameters of West Amman and the city itself to describe life in the villages. Much of the information provided would apply to other countries in the region as well, making the book very useful for travellers and newcomers.

Their main message — don’t stereotype, don’t make sweeping generalisations — is ever more relevant, and their solid information should be a powerful tool in countering

Islamophobia and other misconceptions about Arabs and the Middle East. The fact that they write from the heart, as well as from the mind, makes their message very accessible. As Petra says in conclusion, “Jordan is my family.” (p. 110)

“The Essential Guide” is available at Readers/Cozmo Centre.