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Friend indeed

By Nickunj Malik - Aug 20,2014 - Last updated at Aug 20,2014

Here is a scenario. Imagine, in your mind’s eye: two women friends meeting after a gap of few months. They squeal in delight, hugging and smothering each other in affection. For the next several hours they are inseparable, as they talk non-stop in a chatter laced with generous compliments.

Now visualise another scene: two men friends meeting up after a substantial span of time. After the initial hug, they slap one another on the shoulders. And then, grinning broadly, the insults start pouring, fast and furious with no holding back.

Real life is exactly like these two contrasting situations. Females demonstrate love towards the others of their tribe with sweet words, and males, by sour ones. 

For a long while I could not comprehend this disparity. When I was newly married and not accustomed to my brand new husband’s mannerisms, I would be horrified with this kind of behaviour. Especially when I met his best buddy for the first time. 

These two gentlemen were extremely close, or that is what I was made to understand. They had a shared childhood, went to the same schools, colleges and got in and out of innumerable scrapes together. From drinking binges, bunking classes to motorcycle races, there was hardly any escapade they had not done jointly. I had to lend a patient hearing to all the detailed description whenever the chap’s name came up. 

So, I was told about the time they had swiped comics to make a children’s lending library, where the kids had to borrow their own pilfered magazines back, for a small fee. My spouse would laugh uproariously while relating this specific story. It was all his idea, he confessed, and they thought it would fall apart in a week’s time. But surprisingly, it lasted for six whole months before an angry mother came after them with a rolling pin. 

Their unbeatable score in one particular cricket match, the unanimous support during a college election campaign, and the crazy party they had after the win; where they got drunk on cheap beer and were laid up in bed for a week afterwards. The double dates, the mountain climbing fiasco, the cigarette smoking experiments, the rustling of instant noodles at midnight, everything was related to me, in bits and pieces.

Having heard so much about this individual, I was really looking forward to meeting him in person. He had relocated to America so I had to wait till we travelled to that part of the world. My husband wanted to surprise him so he did not call his friend till we touched down in San Francisco. 

But once there, the bloke refused to meet us. He had apparently, worn a thick beard all through his youth, which he had shaved off just that week. The new look did not suit him, he claimed. So he did not want to face us with his unfamiliar appearance. 

My spouse would not have any of it. He put us into a taxicab and we landed up at his doorstep. 

“Hey Man! You made it!” his friend said enveloping us in a warm hug.

“Sure! But how did you become bald?” my husband responded, smiling.

“And you finally developed a paunch, Fatty?” he asked.

“Who is Fatty?” I wanted to know. 

“You haven’t told her? Till now?” he queried.

“Don’t believe anything this rogue says,” my spouse cautioned. 

“Come with me, I will enlighten you about this scoundrel,” he insisted. 

Friends indeed?

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